I have had an epiphany and I’m making some changes.

It’s not going to change the world, well, probably not yours anyway.  But I’m hoping it’s going to create some positive energy in my own life, and any of that which might rub off on anybody else, well, all the better!

I have recently evaluated a few of my personal relationships and some of the choices I’ve made in life lately and I’ve realised something pretty important – I am a miserable little shit.

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, how it happened, or what initiated this train of thought, but somewhere in the past couple of weeks I have realised how dull and negative I’ve become over the past few months.  I am aware that this is something that goes hand in hand with depression, and that, for the most part is out of my control.  But it is really? REALLY?

Feeling depressed doesn’t mean that I have to speak in a monotone voice.

It doesn’t mean that I have to openly complain about things that aren’t actually that big of a deal.

It doesn’t mean that I have to act busier than I actually am, just to make sure nobody asks any more of me.

It doesn’t mean that I have to display my distaste for life and everything in it so plainly on my face.

Feeling depressed doesn’t have to mean communicating in the manner of Marvin, the Paranoid Android – “Life, don’t talk to me about life”

Just forcing a little smile can make such a massive world of difference to the way people react to you as you pass them by, and this can have a chain reaction and sort of a bounce-back effect of genuinely cheering you up in return.

I am trying to react to conversations and requests in a consciously more positive way, by internally questioning everything I say before I say it. By thinking more carefully about the fact that how I choose to react to one little thing could change my entire day.  By graciously accepting apologies and accepting other people’s challenges, because you can’t truly know what goes on in somebody else’s life and mind, so who am I to judge them for any shortcomings?

I am making a very VERY conscious effort to train my brain back to a more Buddhist approach to life and accept the reality of the present “as it is”.

It’s working for me.

I can’t pretend I’m all sweetness and light, but my mood is a few ounces lighter today than it was yesterday and definitely better than it was the day before that.  Let’s hope things keep moving in the right direction.

I hope your day is a positive one too.