25 Reasons to Avoid World Travel

Don’t you just hate when somebody lives their life a certain way and wants to make you ‘just like them’.  Vegans who feel the need to put you off your food, and city centre preachers who damn you to hell for your sins.  Can’t stand them, myself.  Which is why I’m not going to write a post explaining all the reasons why your decision not to travel the world is wrong, I’m going to tell you exactly why you’re right to curl up with a good book and forget that the rest of the world is out there.  Don’t even think about leaving your comfort zone, you’ll totally regret it…

  1. It will cost you money

Money in the bank is like a flower blossoming in a pot on your windowsill.  It’s there to be looked at, so you can enjoy watching it grow.  Travelling will mean spending some or all of your hard earned cash. What a waste.

Perth to Broome (6)
Can’t believe I wasted my money on this…
  1. You’re not good at packing

Remember coming home from school each day and having to unpack your books and get your bag ready for tomorrow – Now times that by a 70L backpack full of all of your belongings – Eugh! What a chore.  So not worth it.

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Wish I’d stayed at home instead of this
  1. You’re too busy to stop what you’re doing

Those reports won’t write themselves by Monday morning, yeah, you’re way too busy to go off gallivanting around the world “enjoying yourself” – Think about all that exciting work you could be missing out on at home.

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You wouldn’t want too much excitement anyway
  1. You can’t read a map

The streets might be really complicated, or worse, there might not even be streets!  And there could be places you can’t find on Google and will have to get lost to find your way again, sounds scary. Don’t put yourself through that unnecessary stress of stumbling across somewhere unexpected.

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Like inside a volcano, for example
  1. You might not like the food

What if you go somewhere people are eating things you’ve never tried?  Can you even imagine a worse experience than trying something unfamiliar?  Granted, something other people eat every day and come to zero harm, but what if you don’t like it? It would be a total DISASTER!

Zambia 3
Ate African Caterpillars – But surprisingly lived to tell the tale… crunchy!
  1. FOMO

What if somebody you know has a birthday/gets married/has a child and you’re not there because you were too busy selfishly living your own life? You might end up missing out on a party at home that would have been enjoyable.  The world can wait. You’ve got some important local stuff to do.

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Man, I wish I was missing this for my Aunt’s 50th
  1. You have a really nice car

You’ve not long bought it, what will happen to it if you’re not the one driving it anymore? What if you can never get another car quite like it again? It might be the only one of its kind!

Tanzania (5)
I’d much rather be at home in an Audi than 4WDing across the Serengeti, looking for Lion cubs
  1. You might not like other countries

You’re probably right, you like your local, and you know your way to the shops.  Other countries might be *GULP* different *SHUDDER*.

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Yup, beaches like this should be avoided at all costs!
  1. Other beds won’t be as comfortable

I know what you mean, I rue the day I left home, some nights I barely get any sleep at all, and that’s what life is about really. Sleeping comfortably.

Namibia post 1
Worst nights sleep of my life – and not at all entertaining
  1. They might not have a McDonald’s

OH EM GEE…

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A travesty – What terrible dining experiences the world has to offer outside of Maccas
  1. Your passport will get damaged

Remember that funny little book you paid a day’s wages for?  The one you had to use as ID that time you were banned from driving?  You should protect that thing with your life, nobody fully understands quite what it’s for, but if you leave home you are risking somebody defacing it with all sorts of ink and scribbles. Keep it in a locked drawer, nice and safe.

passport
My poor battered passport will never look the same again…
  1. Because everybody hates a tourist

Jarvis Cocker was right, you’ll probably find that everybody hates you anyway.

Queenstown 3
Just look what an awful time we’re all having, worrying about whether the people around us like and accept us

 

  1. You’ve already got too many friends

You already have over 500 friends on Facebook, how would you even keep track of all the extra posts if you had more friends?  Besides, your friends at home do all the same things as you do, so they’re the only people you’d ever want to hang out with anyway.

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Another boring group of people, doing something crap.  I was happy enough before I met them

 

 

  1. You might die

There is probably more chance of you dying if you’re in a different country, it’s not worth the risk.  Why don’t you just pop out to the garden for a cigarette and have a think about some nice homely ways to die that you’d be more comfortable with?

Broome (5)
Adrenaline? No, I’d rather waste away quietly on the sofa where I feel safe
  1. You only speak one language

What if you really need to use the bathroom and can’t find another English speaker?  Man, I don’t even know how I’ve coped all this time.  You’re right, it’s absolutely not worth the risk.

Namibia (7)
I can’t believe I came all this way here with a driver who doesn’t understand the phrase ‘toilet stop’ – I am incredibly disappointed.  I’d rather be home
  1. You already know everything you need to

Life has been hard on you and has taught you many things so far.  What more learning could you possibly fit in your brain?  You probably won’t understand any more new things anyway, and you probably don’t need to know about them.  In fact, if you just stay put, there at the kitchen table, you’ll never need to learn a new thing.

Sandboarding
An awful day sand boarding – my life was better before
  1. The weather might be different

Check out the forecast for the week.  Nowhere is better than where you are right now. Don’t waste your time.

 

Namibia 10
I’d prefer to be in the back garden, I always liked my lawn
  1. Your quality of life couldn’t possibly improve

I hear ya, life right now is as good as it gets and there is nothing more out there.  Your local scene is exquisite.  Why try to add more flavour to your life when it already tastes so good!

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I regret coming here, my life was easier when I didn’t have new places to visit all the time
  1. Nobody you know wants to go with you

If you can’t think of anybody to go with then absolutely DO NOT take a journey alone.  You probably won’t know what to do and there’s absolutely no chance whatsoever of having a good time with any new people you meet along the way.

Perth to Broome (7)
I just keep meeting these awful people who I want nothing to do with! It’s TERRIBLE!
  1. There might not be a familiar supermarket

Nowhere else in the world will you find your favourite brand of olives.  You’d just miss them so much!

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Mussels the size of my hand… Boy, do I miss nice simple Asda Smartprice brand foods
  1. You might not be able to get phone signal

What on earth will Facebook do without you?  If you’re not there to like and comment on your besties selfies she might never speak to you again!  If you’re too busy enjoying an incredible sunset to scroll through the latest posts, what might you miss?

Broome
If only my WiFi had been working, I wouldn’t have missed my friends post about her homemade lunch for this vile sunset
  1. Planes are scary

You’re safer on the ground, where nobody ever gets hurt.  Stay put buddy.

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Remain grounded
  1. The world is scary

The town you live in right now is actually immune to all of the threats from the outside world.  Nothing can touch you there.

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BAH! What was that sound? It was loud! I want to go home!
  1. You might need vaccinations – needles are scary

BAAAHH! NEEDLES!! Don’t do it! Don’t put yourself through that three seconds of perceived pain, no good can come of it!  You don’t need to visit under-developed countries, you’re already happy enough. No needles, thank you!

Dusty Elephant
Not worth the needles to see moments like this – Nope
  1. You’ll probably never forget about it

There is a chance, a very slim chance, but a chance all the same, that taking the trip of a lifetime could actually result in you having too much fun.  You could find that you enjoy yourself so much that you can never be truly satisfied with your old life again.  You might just discover that you’re actually not even the person you thought you were all these years.  And that, that would be a true tragedy, you would have to embrace change, and that… That truly is THE hardest thing about travelling the world.  You might actually enjoy it so much, that you just can’t stop…

“The journey is the destination” – Dan Eldon

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9 thoughts on “25 Reasons to Avoid World Travel”

  1. You know after reading this, I’ve realized where I went wrong – Dammit I knew I shouldn’t have packed up 5 and a half years ago to travel, I should have just stayed at home and watched TV – haha love this post 😀

    Like

      1. Haha I know right ? …well I’ve actually returned home to England for a longer pit stop than usual …but funny u say living g the dream ….my latest blog is about how my dream of traveling has turned into normal life haha

        Liked by 1 person

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